Hi there
If you needed to beg for a ride to an emergency room, then you are clearly not surrounded by caring and supportive people. I have not read every word of your posts yet, but I am guessing that you have never really learned to like/love yourself. You seem very concerned about not wanting to bother other people and you think that it is selfish.

Hopefully you will learn to see that you need to be selfish and that you will be okay without needing other people's approval. When we are vulnerable, I think it is hard to distance ourselves from people who give us anything, even if it isn't good for us. Learning to set limits with people will take time, but once you are able to care about yourself more, it will get easier. Hopefully you will see that feeling better is worth it.

You sound like a very caring and sensitive guy. You deserve a happy and peaceful life; we all do. Don't shortchange yourself. You are strong enough to reach out here which means you want better for yourself, and that is a great starting point.

I know from experience about the cost/therapy/money/medication issues. LOTS of people on this site do. Unfortunately, these difficulties make it even harder for people to push through the system and get what you need..

BUT you need to do it. For yourself and your daughter. There are hotlines you can call to just talk to people, and places to call to get referrals for reduced rates etc.. I am sure others here can help with those numbers?

What ever you do, you must keep trying. It may be hard to see this now, but you can get to the other side of this pain. The world is full of kind and wonderfully helpful people, and you do not need to be with anyone who is hurtful to you ever again. STAY Connected! Please