Moon, I know you. I also know how you are feeling. For weeks, that is almost exactly how I was. Just sitting there, wishing you were dead. It IS awful. But as you have proved, by continuing to post here, talking helps you feel better. I agree with Leed- therapy would likely help you a lot. And you ARE NOT stupid. You ARE NOT lazy. You ARE NOT a horrible person. You ARE a WONDERFUL person, a great listener, and one of my best friends on here, even if the Mayla doesn't feel the same way.

It would be a crime to waste such a wonderful person, and a great friend. Please, if your mom won't do anything about it, go to a clinic yourself. Therapy is probably the best thing for you right now!!!

Keep safe and keep in touch!!!!!!!!!!!!