My relationship is so complicated. I feel so judged. I am really not a stupid person. I know that it sounds horrible to say that I love somebody who abuses me. I can't explain it.

My Psychiatrist is actually head of the psych department at my hospital. He is gone all week. I don't know what that is going to mean for me.

My husband just held me as I sobbed and begged him to "take the pain away". He said that he "needed me" and told me that I cannot go into the hospital. I have to try to figure this out without doing that. His trip is super important. I have to do the best that I can. He told me that he loves me and needs me.

I am so confused.