Deep deep question, my friend.

Protecting myself from pain, hurt....fear of being hurt.....fear of more pain. Fear of gving it my all...all over again and coming up short....again. I know fearing that doesn't prevent it but.....

I think of a sieve....pouring and pouring into the sieve and having it all run out the bottom. I know we can't "hang on" to things but I haven't felt completely safe in a long time. It's exhausting. I always have the contingency plan in the back of my head.

Fear is a funny thing....how much is unfounded and how much is justified?? I just wish I knew which was real.

I start to reach a point where I think I am where I am supposed to be, then ooops....not so sure.

Byz...I'm just at a loss for words.