I need to hear from people who have chronic depression that the good times come back and I won't be sunk in these depths forever. My mind knows that depression wanes, but my feelings are telling me that I am actually, truly worthless and that my situation is hopeless. I have a good doc and a good therapist and they are hanging in there with me. But when I get this sick hateful voices (I know they are not real) tell me terrible things, the latest being that my therapist wants to get rid of me because I am too needy. I know these are depressed hallucinations, but they are unnerving. On the one hand I want to ask my therapist for reassurance that this statement/thought is just a symptom of my illness. On the other, I am afraid that bringing her this problem will make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I am 51 years old and self-supporting (but usually in debt) in spite of chronic depression which has dogged me since early adulthood. I decided a long time ago I would not suicide, but I am spending a lot of time longing for death these days. I am so tired, and so battered by the words my unconscious sends to me-- "you suck," "you're a piece of sh__," "why don't you kill yourself you pathetic excuse?" "you're a blight on creation."

I'm hanging on until I come out the other side, but it is not easy.

Please send encouraging words.