I'm sorry to hear what pain you are in. I've been there, and know that eventually you do see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are doing the right thing by asking for help.
Is it possible that there may be a different hospital that could offer you more help? Maybe things are run differently, and you won't close up...

Please don't think of ending your life - I truely believe we all have a purpose on this planet; we are special and unique. Going to the ER will always be an option for you - there your meds can be adjusted and you can be monitored.