Keep seeing your providers and know they have your best interest in mind. The feelings will pass and know truly what your mind tells you is not fact. They are just passing thoughts and nothing that needs to be paid attention to nor acted upon. They continue to come like leaves on a river and you can just watch them go down stream, never to see them again. If they come back, they still don't mean anything so try to distract yourself from them by doing something you might enjoy: getting out for a walk, reading, talking/e-mailing a friend, hot bath or shower to relax, cook a special meal, etc. whatever that might be for you that helps to distract you during this time and will be soothing for you. Taking care of oneself is especially important during these times, you deserve it! Hang in there in the meantime and know that there really is always hope. Sending good wishes your way meanwhile.