I don't know if it's fair to "blame" these feelings on what my T thinks may be BPD. For me to go digging in my past is stressfull (it's not painful, as there is no major history to work through). My parents are still happily together, but for some reason we have never really bonded. (Possibly me being born a few weeks prem and only seeing my mom after a few days). So my parents are like friends to me. I see them once a month or so. I grew up quite independent. They were there for me, physically at least, and I cannot yet comment on if they were there for me emotionally. I was given a lot of freedom, and in hindsight am probably lucky I came through that unscathed. Towards the end of my highschool years, I started to suffer from depression.

Even when my bf and I split up - I kind of started an affair - it was something that started as a friendship, until I realised there was some form of connection. And it just became more. My bf had been so absorbed in his own life, and I started to feel this lonliness. It was deep-seated and I wasn't even aware of it.
I'm back with my bf, and we've more or less ironed out the issues. But I still have this void - and I know that it cannot be filled by another human