I'm brand new here. I joined because I think my husband has depression, and it's hurting our marriage and our life.

Background: About five years ago, he came to me and said he was angry with me, had been for several years. He said I was neglectful of him, that the marriage lacked spark and that I didn't show him enough passion or affection. I had NO idea he was so unhappy, though I noticed he was frequently irritable with me. I thought it was just part of marriage. So we went to therapy, and 18 mos later, it felt as if things were better. Then this last summer, things went sour again. He blew up at me on vacation repeatedly. Now, he says nothing has changed from before. He says he doesn't think we're really compatible, and he doesn't think things can ever be fixed.

I asked him to tell me whether he is committed to working on this marriage. And he tells me he doesn't know, that he can't give me an answer at this time. He is also miserable at his job, has withdrawn from friends and activities he once really enjoyed. His home office is such a fiasco, and he can't seem to muster the time or energy to pick it up. I've told him I still love him and want things to improve, but I need him to work on it with me because I can't fix this alone.

I think he has depression, and he's finally agreed to see a therapist, which is scheduled next month.

In the meantime, I'm hurting and upset. So I'm here for support. I'm going back to see our old counselor soon, I hope. There's so much more I could write, but I'll stop for now. If anyone has advice on how to get through this, please let me know.