I wonder if the 140 or so people reading my thread understand about me and my former T and that's why they aren't responding. That's okay because I know my relationship with Bt was/is unusual. I feel relieved about talking with her, but most of you won't "get it". I wanted to have a record of how I handled it, too.

Senator P.: If you don't my history with my former T, it's hard to understand my motivations and how I interact with her. I don't want to start another controversial thread about seeing one's T IRL!

I obsessed about Bt for about 7 years, so my seeing her and relating normally is a huge step for me. It's tempered by the fact that if I were not in therapy with someone else, I probably would have acted more weirdly and felt more anxious.

Calling her afterward was not an attempt to perpetuate my connection with her; I wanted to finish telling her something. I'm fine about seeing her! Penguin, I've always seen my former T in social situations and it caused a bit of distress all those years of therapy with her. I don't mean I saw her all of the time, but I'd see her every couple of months or so. It was hard to handle but I liked it at the same time.

Jazzy: Thank you. I had to get used to seeing my T IRL. It helped get her off the pedestal but it also fed into my obsession for her. I shouldn't use the word obsession. I mean my pattern of attachment to Ts. I wanted to be with her, or at least watch her when I saw her somewhere. It was always okay with her if I went up to her, said hi, and talked for a few minutes. Then we'd go our separate ways, but I'd always watch her. This time I didn't feel that need to watch her like I used to. But, I think I'd be the same way if I saw my current T IRL. I am TOO interested in her private life. So, it's what I'm working on in therapy--having compassion and curiousity about the parts of me that feel and act that way, getting to the nitty-gritty of my feelings, facing them, and hopefully being able to get better even though I don't want to.