thank you.

I do see potential benefit in cutting ties with my family. but my kids have a well-established relationship with my parents and I don't want them to have to throw that away because of my selfishness. so, for now at least, I'm going to maintain minimal contact. basically a superficial relationship for my kids' sake. my oldest brother and I have not spoken in 4 years. my other brother only talks to me if we happen to be in the same room. so, whatever.

as for trusting people.. I don't see any benefit in that anymore. I worked very hard to reach a point where I full trusted my husband and really believed he loved me for who I was and accepted me and I felt safe with him and blah blah blah... and he decided to throw it all away for some stupid fling with an ex from high school.

and now, I'm stuck with just accepting that and moving on. I don't really want to trust him again. I can't take another heartbreak like that. what I'd really like is to just be ALONE. but there's no way for that to happen.