I'm not sure if this is where this goes, but it didn't seem quite right for the "Self-Esteem" board. A moderator can move it if it belongs elsewhere.

Anyway, I'm kind of mad at myself for something that happened last night. Much of the time, I'm pretty good about being assertive, but there are situations where I just am not.

My mom sent me some money to order pizza (I didn't ask her for it, but I appreciated it, because my boyfriend doesn't like to order pizza much, and I very rarely get it, even though I love it), which I did last night. I've ordered from this place (Papa John's) before without any trouble, so I didn't expect any. A little bit later, I get a call from the driver delivering it, asking for the location of my apartment complex. I'm really bad at giving directions, so I did the best I could. Our apartment complex is hidden, but the entrance has signs, and it isn't that difficult to find. We hung up, and some time went by, and I was getting irritated. Finally, he calls back, still needing directions, and I keep telling him he's got to be on a certain road, because there's no other way to get to the apartments, but he keeps asking about another road. I finally get him onto the road (he stayed on the phone with me for a long time, trying to find where to go), and eventually, he found the place. I told him where to turn to get to my apt., and he finally made it. I had been close to cancelling, and if he hadn't found the turnoff when he did, I would have. Aren't food delivery persons trained to know the areas well in which they deliver? Shouldn't they be?

I smiled when I answered the door, was really friendly, and told him it was all right when he apologized. I told him I know it can be difficult to find the complex. I even gave him the full tip I had planned, $2.75. He was nice and all, but I was actually very angry. But I didn't want him to think me a b****, even though I normally don't care if someone thinks that. For one thing, some food servers, cooks, deliverers and such are immature and will spit on your food or worse if they don't like you or you got mad at them (even justifiably), so I try not to p*** them off. I like Papa John's Pizza, so I want to remain in good standing with them. My boyfriend would have told him how he felt. I tell my boyfriend my concerns about food contamination (also a problem for my OCD, and, in addition, I don't want to get sick, but even if I don't, I don't want to eat someone's spit/snot/etc.), and he just says, "If they do that, then I'll sue them," or whatever. But the thing is, you may not know if someone does that, but they're more likely to do that if you anger them.

Anyway, the pizza was cold, so I microwaved it, but it's not quite the same as freshly heated, you know? While I feel my concerns are justified, I'm also angry at myself for not having said something or complained. And for having given the full (if any) tip. What do you all think?