to Psych Central VirginiaMama,

I can understand that you feel hurt and confused by your husband's words and behavior.

Has your husband ever had independent therapy, without you? Has he stuck with one counselor, or seen a variety of therapists?

Have you tried to continue the techniques you learned in couple's therapy, to see from the other's point of view, since your husband seemed to begin another spiral downward? It is common for depression to come and go throughout the lives of some people. We have a tendency to look at the negative sides of life. A helpful part in getting through these dark times is to know this about oneself. Just a guess that your husband is like that as well.

I deal with chronic depression myself, from moderate to severe, and often over-generalize in the darker times. Life sucks! I hate life! No one cares about me! People who are normally close feel very far away ~ I feel like a foreigner in my own day. This is not uncommon, unfortunately.

It does take two to keep the marriage going, which can be very trying in dark times like these, I know. Remind yourself that your hub is going through a tough time right now. Be there for him, when you can be. But, be there for yourself too! Give yourself a little extra time and space, to get some enjoyment out of life. It is hard to go to a movie, a fun day with friends, or a day of peace in nature when you're wishing that you and your hub could be doing these things together. But doing these things once a week, to give yourself some peace and strength in life can keep you going in the tough times. Times when you and your hubby aren't seeing eye to eye.

Hopefully, your husband will start seeing some improvement in his life soon. And I hope that you can work through your sad and hurt emotions together in a healthy way. Best wishes!