Hi Rainbow, I've been thinking about this since you posted it. It sounds like you handled bumping into your former T really well, and I'm so glad you feel satisfied with how it went.

I can relate to the feeling that you were able to feel 'normal' about your old T because you have attached to your new T. I've been thinking a lot recently about how I have never been able to keep the good feelings I have from helping relationships after the end, because I just 'transfer' them onto the new person. It makes me even more determined to make this attachment with my current T the last one- to resolve it properly and be able to keep her with me always, rather than just moving it all onto someone else.

However, I've also been reflecting on how my attachment to my T is a protective factor which enables me to interact more normally with others. I am very vulnerable to these strong attachments not just in therapy but with anyone whom I perceive to be caring and have a certain 'quality' (haven't worked out what it is yet). Knowing that my attachment to my T is so solid and complete enables me to take risks in other relationships which would normally feel too dangerous. An example is that during my yoga and mindfulness class tonight, I was able to allow the teacher to lay a blanket over me, and to just enjoy her soothing voice and let myself drift off; if I didn't feel confident that my needs are contained by my T, I would have felt far too afraid that I was making myself too vulnerable, and would become too obsessed with the yoga teacher, and I would be fighting these kinds of interactions every step instead of letting myself enjoy them and take what I needed from them.