Well last night was scary. My boyfriend started reminding me of my ex-boyfriend, the way I was paying for everything and he seemed manic, and that was really scary because my ex well let's just say he spent some time in prison. So all of a sudden I had full blown panic attack...I lost control of my eyes, felt like an out of body experience..felt terrible..and I had been taking meds to combat them but they didn't work. I felt like a child, I retreated to bed and just curled up in the fetal position, with no one knowing what to do for me, how to help me. I suddenly declared that I hated my own house and proceeded to drive to my boyfriend's house. We got in an accident on the way there, and he had offered to drive but I said..'..naw..' The accident was terrible. It was really scary. Pretty soon I'm going to have more money to help him out I had a good job interview today. He does pay me back at the first of the month. I just am so afraid of my own mind, like I cannot trust myself. I am scared after last night, like maybe I'm worth nothing at all.