(((((((Tree))))))))

What you are processing is VERY natural. I share the same issues with having been a victim of childhood SA. A large part of my shame/guilt cycle was that flashbacks caused my body to respond in a hightened sexual way. When I was going through my trauma work, it really was difficult because I talk with my father almost every night and my body was responding to just his voice in an "excited" way! THAT freaked me out to the MAX !!!! UGGGGGS~!

I had to process this over with my T many times. I was so ashamed of my body for betraying me that way. And I was ashamed of my mind bringing up the abuse almost on its own and causing my body to respond in those ways.

My T said that it is natural and right for our body to be excited about sex. That is just a very natural human thing to do! There is NOTHING wrong with you or me for being excited in response to being touched. Even as a child - our response was very natural.

The crime is NOT in us responding to these things in a natural (and my T said HEALTHY) way. The crime is that we were forced into sexual maturity before our minds were ready to have those experiences. We were innocent. You did NOTHING wrong with your natural response at the time. You are DOING NOTHING WRONG at this time either!

It is a true shame that what is supposed to be a joy of living was taken away from you - and from me too. I am sorry for this. Sending you TONS and TONS of hugs!