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Originally Posted by Lizabelle
What do you mean by "your mileage may vary"?
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Anything that I say has worked for me, may or may not work the same way for someone else.
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Because it's always my fault. Either I was involved, or I could have done something to prevent it. If my siblings are fighting, somehow it's always my fault. If my parents are arguing, either it's about me, or I could have helped/prevented the situation. If dinner isn't on the table at the right time, I was making it, or I could have. If my dad is mad because someone's chore didn't get done, I could have helped them and did it, or I distracted them from doing it.  I am always to blame. Either I know that I'm to blame, or someone else blames me. If something is wrong, I could have made it better. That's how I know.
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So it's a combination of someone else telling you, and you concluding it for yourself?
If you ever got the idea -- let's say, just for a few minutes -- that not everything might be your fault, would you feel free to think that and try it on for a while to see how it suited you, or would you expect something bad to happen to you for daring to think things like that?
I guess I'm asking, do you even have
room to think about whether it's your fault or not, or do you already know ahead of time what answer you're supposed to get?