I've been depressed for a long time. I am not suicidal; but iIdo wish for my life to end, as I am miserable here. I have other physical ailments in addition to BPD & I am just plain tired of being here. I am tired of waking up each day. I am tired of having to face the fear of the possibilities of what yet another day might bring.

Because of certain physical symptoms, I had reason to hope to I may have a form of cancer. After suspectinging this & dealing with the symptoms for over a year, I went in to see a doctor, who gave me the results of the tests today. I do not have it! The symptoms have some "normal" explanation. I am disheartened. While I did not know if it was cancer, at least I had the hope that my misery could be ending soon. But now that hope is gone.


Does anyone know what I mean?