I was with a verbally abusive/controlling boyfriend for two years. After much deliberation I cannot fathom why I stayed for the abuse. Of course I felt lonely, and it didn't start out abusive, it grew over time. Soon he left holes in my wall, his car, his garage door, etc. He made me crazy! He'd flip my words around making it sound like I was the bad guy. Needless to say Im glad I got out when I did.
But it wasn't easy. I felt terribly broken for months. It's been 4 years and I feel much better, but I went to drinking. I was a wreck for awhile. He hurt me terribly and the worst part is that I let him.

It may take a therapist to help you out of this funk. You need real perspective, someone unbiased, an outside voice. I thought I loved this guy so much. When I realized I loved the idea of him, or i loved just the nice things. The nice things started to come few and far between. You can't love just one side of a relationship, you have to take the good with the bad...but that bad shouldn't be abuse, in any form. You should be a team, not waging war. Good, healthy relationships provide support and respect.
This love that I thought i had for him wasn't Truly deep. did i care for him alot? yes i did. i loved a side of him, or certain things he did. but i didn't love the whole of him, not even remotely.

These are just a few things Ive begun to realize since the breakup. Find someone you don't fight with. That appreciates you for you. They're out there, believe me. I know you don't believe that now, I know your heart must be torn and tattered but know you deserve better than that relationship.