hi loveshorses, I am not sure what the explination is for what you are describing. I think you are describing dissociation. But thats a huge and broad catagory. I do agree with Donna, who suggested seeing a professional to figure out whats going on. I want to let you know that many if not most people here do seek diagnosis from a professional. Because then they can know whats going on and how to help it. Know what I mean? Often, usually, people are relieved to finally find out whats really going on. Because the not knowing or conjecture is more scary than the truth. Safe hugs for you. I am so glad you are here. Please keep posting. Because you have come to a place, PC, where you will get lots of support. Okay?