Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizabelle
Something bad would probably happen. If I start lying even to myself, bad things would happen. Lying to other people is bad, and I still have to do it sometimes. Lying to myself would be horrible. There's nothing to "suit" me, it's just the way it is.
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So what you're saying is, (a.) you're convinced those things are all your fault; (b.) you're so sure they are, that if you even stopped to imagine that they might not be, it would count as lying and (c.) you'd get in some kind of trouble for it.
It sounds like someone (we're not sure who yet)
wants real badly for it to be your fault. And whoever it is, even though they don't sound as if they like you very much, you'd still rather keep showing you're on their side just in case that keeps them from getting even madder at you.
Quote:
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I have plenty of "room" to think about it, if I want something else even worse to happen for karma, like me finally ending up in the psych ward and making my family poorer than before.
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Meaning, it sounds like, no room at all:
don't think about it -- or else!
By the way, have you ever tried
not to think of a white elephant (or a red ball, or a yellow Jeep) for 15 minutes or so?