The problem is not you; your boyfriend's actions understandably led to feelings of mistrust. Only after he proves over time that he will not hurt you again may those feelings go away. If you cannot come to grips with what happened, then you will never be happy in this relationship and both of you will end up miserable, and perhaps you should consider looking elsewhere for a partner. There is nothing wrong with this; he chose his actions, drunk or not, knowing how you would feel afterwards, and you should not feel badly about making him live with the consequences, if you so choose. Also, if you think he's acting differently, you are probably right--don't let others tell you how your boyfriend is supposed to act. You know better than them!