(((((((((((((esthersvirtue))))))))))) I am so sorry you are alone for the holidays. I remember how lonely I felt the first holidays I spent by myself. I can understand your desire to cut with all the emotions you are trying to deal with. I wish I could wisk you home so you could spend it with your family. As a poor substitute I will be on here on and off tomorrow and would love to hear from you. You have a sympathetic ear here. Please try and be safe.