maybe the question is too general?

When I am angry about someone's outrageous behavior, T can mirror my anger at the injustice - it's validating, I learn that anger can be an appropriate response at times.

When I am angry with her, she never mirrors, she absorbs it like a sponge - she calls it containing - she knows the anger is not really about her, and after the storm passes she finds a way to remind me of that

When I am angry with myself, she never mirrors; she calls me on it, consistently defending SAWE against self-condemnations.