As always, thanks to you all for caring about me. It means so much right now.

I am waiting to hear from my T, regarding the partial program. He called my mom about childcare, but they missed each other.

I don't want my mom to watch my kids. She is a major trigger for me. She upsets me very, very, very, much, She was yelling at me yesterday, accusing me of "not letting her in". Well, yep, I don't want her in. I don't trust her. She put me in an abusive home as a child, without protecting me. She is a good grandma, but every time I see her I fight with her (which I don't need right now).

I emailed my T and told him that I want to just continue twice a week therapy with him. I see my Pdoc on Tuesday. I am not medicated right now, so maybe I will feel better after I am put on new meds.

If he says no, then I think that I am going to leave therapy AMA and take a break for awhile. I just don't know what else to do. There is nobody who can watch my kids-I mean nobody.

My best friend (who was also called by my T) said that I sounded incoherent last night. She thinks that my T will commit me if I go AMA.

So, that's the scoop on my sucky life.