I can completely understand aswell, about a year ago i found a tumour but it turned out to be benign. People don't seem to understand this as all. My family seem to think i can snap out of it and my mother doesnt even believe in personality disorders. When i found out i didnt have cancer i was dissapointed. Its an overwhelming feeling of tiredness with it all. Suicide seems appealing but I couldnt put them through that as my mum has nobody else. My dad left us and took my brothers with him years ago and i havbent had contact with any of them since. I do not want to put her through the shame and guilt of losing again. She has her own problems with drug dependancy and i do love her but sometimes i wish she could just be a mom to me for once. If life was like a video game id simply turn off the console but its hard to leave things as they are. If it was all taken out of our hands then that would feel better but I dont know that finding out something like that wouldnt push me to just end it there and then. I found out two weeks ago my dad recently attempted suicide again but couldnt even do that properly. Its agonising going through this the way we have to. If you need someone to talk to when you're feeling your worst im always here, i know myself it would be nice to be able to talk to someone when i SI and ther suicidal thoughts start to circle. hope you're okay and if you need any help. xoxx