It really can be tough when you start to question decisions you made in the past, but that's where they lie, in the past.

I've personally been battling this recently, I'm still in the throws of reaching up from that pit of depression and self loathing, but I'm doing it after 10 years.

It can be frustrating for any person to go through this, even more so when you are in the middle of it currently happening to you and you feel like you don't know what way is up or down. Do you have anyone close in your life that you would say is a "rock" for you to hold onto during this hard time? I've had a couple good friends through all of my last couple months when everything got really bad, and they were there through the thick of it all regardless of how I treated them. I have them to thank for what grasp of sanity that I currently have. I can hope that maybe you can achieve sometihng like that as well, as where you currently are is a very scary place, but you must have strength to climb from there. Every person can start to get better, the first part for me was accepting that something was wrong and asking for help. Maybe sometihng in all of this will strike within you and help you.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you.