Wow, thanks for posting this. I also have a memory of one incident that was pretty blatantly over the top from one of my parents. It wasn't as bad as ongoing physical abuse that some people deal with, so I feel guilty for remembering it.
This is exactly what I've been realizing I've done
"i've spent most of my life saying, just forget it, it was such a long time ago, just forgive...but, that hasnt ever helped me..."

Also my parents are not ones to talk about complicated emotions. I can't imagine that they would understand me remembering it without feeling terribly hurt (at least Mom), which makes me feel more guilty. But now I'm thinking the fact that she didn't (and maybe wouldn't) understand that it really hurt a lot but that that doesn't mean I hate her, doesn't mean I can't acknowledge it hurt me a lot, it was wrong of her, and I understand it.

Wow, that was a tortured sentence Hope I can explain it a little more coherently to t