I don't know where to begin, so I think I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out. I've started so many different threads on different boards only to delete them before I publish them because I'm sure I'm doing or saying something wrong. I apologize ahead of time if this becomes long and rambling.

I'm pretty sure I have three lovely disorders all tied up nicely in one little package: depression, anxiety, and anorexia. Each one seems to feed off the other, sending me into a downward spiral that's going faster and faster. I'm depressed, but I'm terrified to ask for help, so to deal with it I starve myself. I get sicker, which makes me more depressed. Still too scared to say anything, more starving. See where I'm going with this?

I've been feeling like this on and off for YEARS. Lately though, I feel like everything is crashing down around me, and I just can't hold things together anymore.

I don't know how to ask for help though. First, I just moved to a new city and a new state. I know absolutely nobody. Second, I can't afford health insurance, so I doubt there is anyway for me to afford treatment.

I just don't know what to do or where to go. All I want to do is stay locked in my house and never come out. Impossible to do when you have to work. That just makes me hate my job and blame it for pulling me away from my comfort zone. I wake up every morning thinking there's no way I can do this one more day.

Where did I go wrong in life? And what, if anything, can I do to make things better? I'm feeling desperate and hopeless. Any advice or help will be so greatly appreciated.