safe ((((((tree)))))) , Oh tree , I have the same issues too...it's a very confusing and disturbing thing to go through I have just been going thru this with my T and was said before, T said this was a natural reaction for the body , it was sadly made to happen too soon our young bodies were confused and as adults we can't understand this , but you have to think of it as a child , that child did NOTHING wrong , that child DID NOT ask for those things to happen , that child put their love and trust in someone who betrayed them in the worst possible way , so you cannot blame your adult self for things your younger self felt .....Take care ...I will always be here to listen