I don't support my evil thoughts this really hurts my friend said maybe I subconsciously give myself the thoughts as a way of socially sabotaging myself. BUT IF THATS TRUE WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?!?!? COULD IT REALLY BE AFFECTING ME SUBCONSCIOUSLY TO THE EXTENT WHERE I CANT TELL?!?!?!

sometimes i do feel delusional but I feel like something is FORCING a mask upon me, like it prevents me from telling others how I REALLY feel.

I AM CAPABLE OF EMPATHY!!! OTHERWISE THIS WOULDNT HURT ME!!!!

I JUST WANT TO BE OKAY

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP!! I WANT TO BE OKAY