(((((((((phoenix, jexa, lady, darkrunner, jazzhands)))))))))))

Thank you so much for responding. Knowing that others have shared the same experience means so so so so so much to me.

T and I have tried to find a support group for survivors of CSA in my area but there is, literally, nothing. I need SO badly to hear that others have felt the same way, have had the same reactions, go through the same struggles. I feel SO alone and bad.

I watched the Oprah with all of the male survivors of CSA and it was this huge eye opener for me. I knew, KNEW in my heart, that all of those people couldn't be bad. 200 people? and I thought...if they're not bad, maybe, just maybe, I'm not bad either.

But it's so hard to hang onto that when I feel so alone. I feel like I'm the only one, I was chosen, and I was chosen because I'm bad, and gross. And that makes me spiral out into total darkness.

This thread is helping me more than I could ever express. Thank you so much.