being alive. - a 480 pound guy tried his best to kill me and for some reason I'm still here, I was in two car accidents and I'm still here, I have a kidney desease in which I was supposed to have been dead within 4 years of diagnosis and Im still here, I've been diagnosed with cancer and am still here when other relatives with this cancer are gone, got pregnant with a child I was told Id die giving birth to if I ever got pregnant and I'm still here, I can't even count how many suicide attempts I have been brought back from, and Im still here. So like I told my son when he was worried I would die while he was in foster care the first time - Im going to be here until I turn 100 and have taught his children how to annoy him with straw whistles and their kids to annoy him and their parents withstraw whistles and their kids and their kids and on and on and on. I have been very lucky in not dieing and am now trying my best to make my life count by looking for the good things this life has to offer me and why I am still here after all that.