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You were chosen because you were accessible and you were accessible because your mom had a lot of problems. You were not chosen because you were bad or gross.
You are connecting with others here but you still feel alone with it? Could this aloneness be coming from the past when you really were alone with it?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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