I used to be able to pray the urges away, mostly urges of od'ing... these days as the BP progressed, I find myself unable to do so. I used to speak to my X about them (as he was also my BFF), and he would keep me grounded, these days I speak to my brother, he then sits and prays FOR me, holds me, confiscates my meds and then proceeds to distract me with some comedy, no matter how NOT in the mood I am... that's our current plan, and it seems to be working for me. ( on a side note, me and my X are on speaking terms again, but I refuse to make him my BP crutch again.

I hope you feel better soon, giving the monster in your head a voice is not considered weak!