I am so sorry you are being triggered by your boyfriend. It also saddens me that the group you find yourself in is so inept that it can not give you the support it should. You have been given some good suggestions on how to cope with the dilemma you find yourself in. I think I will try some of them myself as I too experience some of the reactions you are now having with your boyfriend. Remember your boyfriend is not able to read your mind and hopefully he will be understanding should you share some of your fearfulness in having such an important aspect of your relationship. I am sorry you are being invaded by feelings from so long ago in your life. It seems that our minds find their own time to exhibit and remember terrible times in our life. I hope you find someone to help you relieve the anxiety you are now experiencing. Please be safe. I am glad you have this place to post and be with those who care for you.