I have several family members that I cared for who were diabetic and know of the toll, frustration, and pain it causes. Their lives revolved around the illness and just trying to manage it, mine became that too. We had to make a more pointed effort to bring joy into their lives so that it was worth getting through the days. Things began to lift when you find the things you really enjoy doing and taking the focus off the illness. It took a lot of planning because of the timing of injections, carrying meds with us, etc. but life became more fulfilling for them and about them, not the diabetes. I hope you too can find something(s) that bring more pleasure than pain; it is just an illness and does not have to be the focus of life, is a part of it but is not all that you are. You deserve more and deserve happiness. Try to find it, so worth it.