Thanks for your reply and sharing! I think the most important thing when kids are involved is to be as open and honest as possible with them when they are older and can understand a bit more.
Although most of how my parents' handled the 'aftermath' issues of the divorce I give them alot of credit- My sister and I never heard them screaming, etc at eachother. My mom always stuck up for my sister and I when my dad wasn't thinking of how his choices still affected my sis and I. The one thing I dont' agree with is my parents were relaxed about the aftermath- or at least that's the front my mom put on. I don't think they realized that because I was older I could form my own opinions and worry more about what I thought was the reason. 7 yrs later, I still don't know why parents got divorced....I know bits and pieces from my mom and maybe she is protecting my father in some way but it's very frustrating to think my mom woke up one moring and was like 'i'm divorcing your father.'
So, I believe allowing the kids to understand the amount the parent is comfortable with and talking to the kids helps alot.