Ah, dear, it's not a set of balls. I'm afraid I have a side of my personality that would be more at homedoing what some of my ancestors do best, mayhem. Think of it so; this disease has really decided to hit you hardest later in life than it did me, sounds like. You are responding like this because you are not as damaged. The trick is keeping your sensitivity and not letting it destroy you.
First, it's OK to admit you are angry, and remember angry does not mean out of control. Counter it by taking control. remind her that her behavior is not OK by showing her at the same time that you definitly are more in control of you than she is of herself, even if you don't feel that way. Normals HATE it when we do that

Still the main thing is that you need to show her YOU don't put up with her nonsense and that BOTH OF YOU need to concentrate on more important things, and SHE can't do that if SHE insists on freaking about you. Take your responsibility and drop hers diractly back in her lap, and, even harder, stay and face her music. She is trying to imply because you are sick, everything is your fault, and that is babytalk.

when I come out of these things, I go home, sit in a hot bath, and shake. My adrenaline goes through the roof and it is all I can do not to act on it and tell myself it is just my hairtrigger system going nuts. I don't always manage, so I tell my bosses there are times I gett really mad, and so then I'll have to clean the ceilings for them. I have had clients stand and scream down at me for whole sessions (easy to deal with, if you know they hurt, you can accept their rage), I have had grown drunks stand and accuse me of every genocide in the book (hey, with my ancestry, pick one! eventually you'll hit something!) Nothing gets me like colleagues can. Absolutely nothing. So I hear you. if you want to PM me, please, feel free (my kid's stealing the moblie boadband so I have to get off) but I'll get back on when I can. You're BF needs to do some serious backing up there, though. You need him. HUGGGGSSSSSSS