Does anyone find that when they stop one form of SI they start another?

** Possible trigger coming up **

I used to cut with a blade - then i scratched - i had promised my T not ot cut and i guess this was my way around it - my pdoc seemed upset (for me) by my scratching so i tried to stop but tht turned to pulling at the skin or rubbing it till it broke and then tearing....

I used to do it where no-one could see - but now ...... people can be so blind and easily led somtimes when they dont want to see - maybe i wanted them to see ..... i dont know .. but they didnt.

SO i am trying not to tear my skin or re-open the healing wounds.....so then i cut down my food intake ....this doesnt help me lose weight - it slows my metabolism further.. so having that taken away cos i start to get ill - i overspend......... sooner or later they cut off your cards lol thats ssoooooo not funny and beyond mega stupid to do that.. sighs

then i start talking to people who will probably trigger me ..... another way to SI? maybe i am looking for them to trigger me so i can SI again ...i dont know..... kowing that i feel this way do i stay away - noooo im like a moth to a flame ........ bangs head agains tthe wall....

my place is a mess (like those crazy people you see on tv) - my life is a mess lol

I got rid of some stuff from home today and now i am desperate to ...dont know......... drive too fast (wont do that - dont want to hurt anyone else) - punch a wall - jump out of my skin - dont know ..... if i hadnt promised my old T i wouldnt use a blade id prob be using it now ... but im not - thats good - but it makes me want to look for some other way....

so i guess after all that rambling .. has anyone else ever felt this way???