I struggled with sui thoughts for years, I guess I felt ashamed of them so didn't tell my friends and family what was really going on, seeing the pain in their faces of not being able to help was horrible...
There were a few people I did tell, my minister and sometimes my best friend and husband, they knew that all I needed from them was for them to be with me for a bit.
When I got a good T and pdoc - I told them everything and then I didn't need to burden my friends with this pain as much...
Then as meds and life improved I have not heard those voices or had those thoughts for a long time...