I should call in sick but I'm too scared. It is too hard to talk sometimes. It is sometimes easier to numb through self-destruction, sorry, that is bad. I shouldn't work sometimes, dr says she'd give me a sick note but we both think it is best to continue with routine if I can. So i need to put up with these times of stress sometimes. It is my own fault for being so weak. I have read the grounding posts and they really help hence the counting and need for repetition. I don't want to connect with myself too much tonight because I know that if I do i'll hurt myself very badly and i'd rather be numb.

But in regards to self care I will try and sleep or at least put my head down to rest. And try and email my therapist....that is hard to do because of the fear but I think tonight I need her. Thank you for listening, hope your son gets his food!