She went to counseling a couple of years ago but stopped. No insurance does not cover it. Money and she felt better were the reasons she stopped. She has told me recently that she will not go back. She doesn't want me to go, but I might just have to, if she continues to go out in the singles scene. I don't understand how someone can do that when their partner has has plainly expressed their displeasure and anxiety about it.
My wife is the passionate person she tells me. According to her, it is I that have no passion. We do not get to go out together without the kids hardly ever, and she blames me for that. She seems very miserable at home, (frequently going outside to smoke, immersing herself in tasks, or losing herself on the computer,) but tells me that she is just frustrated.
Here is a day for example: I get up early and leave before anyone wakes up. She gets the 3 kids ready for school feeds them, and drops them off to school. She comes back home gets herself ready and goes to work 3 days a week. She gets home before me, usually gets the close out for the next day. She leaves to go on a walk. I pick up the kids from school get them snacks, start homework, make lattes for her and I, make her coffee for the next morning, empty out lunchboxes, get their pajamas out, and she gets home about now and starts freaking out about something. Either laundry needs to get started or homework is a problem for one of the boys, or she needs to grade some tests. She will immediately start stopping around like shes mad, like I just get home and sit down, while I am still up getting things done. She then proceeds to "go do her thing" while I make dinner for the boys. After serving them, I clean up. About this time she usually calls one into shower. She calls me when the smallest boy gets out to help him dry off and get dressed. I try to read to the smallest before bed. We take turns getting them to brust their teeth and I usually put them to bed. If she is on the phone I will start dinner, sometimes she will. She usually cleans that up. Then I hop in the shower and come out to her on the phone again. I try to get her involved but when I do, she usually just wants to watch TV to fall asleep, sometimes we can talk a little here. We used to talk all the time at this point.