I'm sorry for the pain i've caused, not only to me, but to all those around me. I'm sorry for being this way, I don't mean to, it just kind of happened. I don't know what caused it, maybe it was all the years of taunting and teasing from my peers, maybe it was the betrayal(sp) by my so called friends. I'm really not sure what started it, what exactly it was that made me the way that I am today. However, somehow i got here, and now i have to live with it, and so does everyone else, so i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i am this way, i wish i could change it. I thought i had, but turns out that was only a temporary vacation from my real self. it was a nice vaction none-the-less, but still. It's over now. So, i am stuck here, watching the world go by, watching people around me hurt and be sick and in pain, and....there isn't anything that i can do, so i just sit and stew about it all, and say that i'm sorry. which i am, i wish i could change things, make them better, for everyone, as well as myself, but i can't, i tried but it was a lie. a horrible lie that has finally come to an end, and now the cold hard truth stares me in the face, harsh and hurtful, killing me from the inside out. that's what this kind of truth does, it kills you. lies hurt, but the truth, real truth can kill. so again i say i'm sorry.