I have been leading internal conversations with my alters.. i have Dissociative identity disorder (what some call multiple personality) - so i found another inner child alter who says... that my mom STILL abuses me.

It brought me a flash back of what it claims to be last weekend when i came here - to my parents. i come here every week. To my parents. From the big city. So it brought me scary visions of my mother coming with HER alter - really a different person..and...do sexual things to me. It claims to be JUST LAST WEEK and has a whole...bunch..well a bunch is too small for that - says that "i am used to it."

I know that most will tell me that IF this is happening i should get away from here....the problem is that this scares me even more but even now..family will start asking why do i go...i don`t know...i just SO BADLY don`t want to - wake the bad mother up! If i don `t want to have sex with her she sticks a needle into my head and i just go limp

- well this was actually my alter who typed the text in bold out. It claims to have this abuse most of our life. When i started having them - they were other alters - claiming to be like 2, 3.5 years old...who tolerated sexual things that mother did to me.

But you see there is a problem....is this reliable?
Maybe i am not being abused and this is form some other time?
Why should i stop my life going normally because of my underground life?

I don`t know what to do . Afraid to go to bed. Well. I guess i will see.