Thread: Fear
View Single Post
 
Old Nov 25, 2005, 11:05 AM
TgrsPurr TgrsPurr is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2005
Location: Between here and there
Posts: 509
Just finding out that I have BPD has left me in fear of seeing and talking to ppl...I'm afraid that BPD will reveal it's ugly head and get me into even more trouble. I've always lived an isolated lifestyle...I've always preferred it that way. I don't like having friends, I don't like letting ppl to get too close to me. When I have allowed myself to get into romantic situations and taken my guard done...it's always blown up in my face by behaving in extreme and intense attachment to that guy. It becomes too much for them and it scares them away. When that happens, I become psycotic about making their life a living hell. It's the old "love/hate" mentality.
I'm not really sure why I'm sharing this, except to release my thoughts and feelings about this whole new understanding of why I become the way I do. So I've pulled inside myself. Too much fear of what will blow up in my face next. I can't trust myself, and for good reason.
TgrsPurr, xo.
__________________
It's not how hard you fall. It's how you pick yourself up again.