((((((((((((complic8d)))))))))))))) You bet it is. I hope you have someone to help you work through this as it is very difficult by yourself. I would suggest finding non injurous methods to cope with the feelings that are building up inside you. Then you will use them instead of the coping skills you are now using. Good luck on doing so. I know how hard it is and I think it is brave of you trying to do so. There is no quick answer to this action as it is a result of underlying issues. Please thake care and try and be safe.