Hello all,

I'm leaving the motel now and taking the drive back home. I don't know if I still have a job...I don't know much, but I did make it through the night. I stayed up for a while and then I finally went to sleep as I was so tired from the crying, throwing up, and probably Depakote side effects. I hope my liver isn't shot.
Thanks for your support and I think it's really low for me to have done that talk about my sins on here with you all. However, I am appreciative because you all made me feel better that I wasn't going to die, even though I wanted to die when I took them.
While I think about death a lot and way the pros and cons, this action I took was not a planned out one; it was out of desparation right after I hung up with my Mom. She often just doesn't understand where I'm coming from and because I've always been close to her, I feel that if she is mad at me, then I there is no point and that's what happens. I know she just has no idea how to help me even after all these years, just like I don't how to help me.
She's offered me to come home to her house back in WA state so many times and I've never said yes because I don't want to leave my partner who couldn't come with me. And now I'm considering it but I can't I don't think because I have a DUI hearing down here in January. It was my first DUI, no previous criminal record, but I feel like my life is over. I hired an attorney weeks ago to help me but I'm leary of him plus I haven't been able to give him a penny because I have nothing to give him due to not working. I'm a mess.
Anyway, thanks for your concern and I'm so glad to have found this website.

Z