I do exactly the same thing. My goodness! I take comfort in it though for some reason. Ihave been fantasizing about these things for YEARS. And written stories about it. Being kidnapped by a group of men or one. Being held hostage..probably forever. I have been thinking of it every morning before I go to sleep. I take meds to sleep, but I take the edge of my fingernail and prick my inner arm and pretend someone else is injecting me with a drug. I have had fantasies of being drugged since I was 15. These things are why I suspect I was abused as a young child. I can't face it, but have suspected it since 15. My triggers are mostly music. I am definitely masochistic, and have even put mysel fin dangerous situations with men..going to their houses alone. And I did get taken advantage of. I don't do that anymore. I guess I'm not alone.