Just sent this email to one of the people that's tried helping me, and of whom I love one hour and hate the next...and I was a total **** to her.

"****ed up tonight. came out to my brother, got disowned by my brother, smoked 15 fags, will probably never be able to see my dad or nan again, dont some other stupid ****, got myself into an argument with a potentially scary person, deleted all my college work, posted loads of embarressing **** and smashed up a laptop.

brill.

anyway. i am actually really sorry. tonight wasnt the real me (I dont think) I dont even know."

All the stuff i mentioned in this email happened within about 3 hour time period.